Tiny Treasures

I am a good friend. Always have been. One of my better qualities.
How else can you explain these little notes...each one a treasure - a message to touch, inspire and evolve - that I left all over my friend's room while she was at work?

You just know..

You know you are destined to make up puns and PJs when:
You are dreaming, and somebody says something in the dream that triggers a pun.
Your dream pauses for a minute.
Your subconscious tells the pun and your subconscious giggles at itself.
The dream then resumes.

#truestory

Tea Party

So I wrote this when my cousin mailed me saying her two and three quarters year old daughter hosted a pretend tea party on her birthday.

What a perfect day for an outdoor tea party it is!
The sun is shining.
The birds are chirping.
The colorful butterflies are fluttering by.
And what a turn out! 
There is Mr.Gummy, silly as he is, wearing his bright yellow rain coat.
Next to him sits Lady Lola in her beautiful gown, her hair braided with pretty flowers.
Naughty Monkey Moop is sitting at the edge of his chair, trying to put sugar cubes into his mouth while no one is looking.
Donkey Dan is laughing his wonderfully infectious laugh while Joko, the Clown, honks with his big red nose and moos like a cow.
Then sits good old Lucy, smiling and looking upon everybody with a sparkle in her eye.
And there comes Mother, with a pot of steaming hot tea and cakes!
How everyone cheers!
Shush..I cannot describe the party to you anymore. My tea is getting cold, and I'm afraid Monkey Moop is going to eat my share of the cake. 
Good bye now!
No wait! 
Oh wonderful! Mother has got extra.
Would you like to join us?

How to Bug a Friend Early in the Morning

You: I pinged you. You ignored me. Head down sad face
Friend: Chin up eeeeeee face!!! :D
You: And as she grinned like a maniac, a minuscule mosquito made it's way into her wide, open mouth
Friend: Heehawhaw poraaamai*...
You: Little did she know that the sound of her laugh mimicked to perfection, the mating bray of a donkey. Somewhere nearby, donkey Jojo's quest for it's soul mate began.
Friend: Kazhudhaiya vechu oru kaadhal kaaviyama?? Ezhudhi mudichutu give me credits for instigating ur innovation :D **
You: But did she realize she was more than mere inspiration? Did she realize that she was the lead actor, the heart and soul of this beautiful Ballad of the Bray?

*** Silence ***

* -  ~Insert Donkey braying noise here~ Jealousy

** - A love story with a donkey? When you are done writing it, please give me credits.

Blah

S: I don't know if its the industries they work in, but my friends seem to think they are surrounded by crooks and cheats.
Me: What industries do they work in?
S: Oil, Banking, Fast Moving Consumer Goods
Me: So the people in Oil are too oily, you cannot bank on people in Banking, and the Fast Moving Consumer Goods people always try to pull a fast one on you?
S: Thu

Is it sad that this conversation was the highlight of my day?

Love Note

I remember the first time we met.

You took me by surprise.
So perfect, so beautiful.
How you stood out in the crowd,
All eyes drawn to you.

You came closer.
My heart beat faster.
The closer you came, the more I started falling.
 Falling unexplainably love with you.

It was love at first sight.
But was it meant to be?
Would getting to know each other,
spoil this first wave of pure, unhampered love?

Its been close to half a decade now.
We have had our share of bad days,
Days when were not at our best.
But I still love you as much as I did that day.

Perhaps even more.

My dear blueberry cheesecake,
This is my ode to you.
To our love.

Day 6: Of Pangong, Peace and Paneer Pakodas

I think no amount of words and no amount of pictures can capture what I see and feel today - the sparkling streams, the wild horses running along side the roads, the Pangong lake teasing us, subtly changing her appearance as and when she pleased, acting as the window to the Sky's Soul; the quaint little tents overseeing the lake, the chilly winds, the warmth of Maggi and paneer pakodas. The sheer bliss and calm that washes over me.
I choose to write no more. I will, instead, show you. Mind you, these pics do absolutely no justice to this Prima donna.

Day 5: Of Magnets, Magic and Merging rivers

This morning, we have been promised of a magical feat- to see cars defy gravity. After a very mellow day, we are all more excited than usual. 
However, we first stop at the Military's Hall of Fame. A museum that explains to us how the Indian borders are being protected day in and day out, by our soldiers. We see videos and exhibits about how the soldiers train, braving the cruel weather and unforgiving peaks. We learn of the history and culture of Ladakh. For the first time in my life, it hits me how much these unknown faces sacrifice for our well being. But how do we, nestled safely in our homes behave? By looting, raping and exploiting each other. A sense of sadness clings to me. Along with astonishment at my own profoundness. Wow. I know, right?
With this new-found insight about myself, I am whisked away by our car to the Magnetic Hill, which boasts that from a particular point, the vehicles move upward on a downward slope. The drivers stop for the demo, puts the car on neutral gear and lets go of the steering wheel. We all hold our breath. And the car moves downwards. Our hearts break, our heads refuse to accept defeat. We make the driver do it again and again. We finally console ourselves saying the slope is bare minimum, so it must be something that's pulling the car. Some elderly drivers scoff and laugh at our wishful conclusion. 
Much much later, Google tells us that the point is actually an optical illusion. Surrounded by mountains on all sides, the lack of a visible horizon tricks the mind and makes people think the slope is upwards. But we are no ordinary humans, I guess. Our minds are simply too sharp to be cheated. Ha!
But right now, we are all putting on a brave face. And we are hungry. Just in time,we pull up to a Gurudhwara. The Sikh temple is huge and beautiful - and pretty much in the middle of nowhere. We find out why- legend has it that there was once a demon living on that very hill, terrorizing the villagers who lived at its foot hill. Guru Nanak, during His travels, came across this village and sought rest. When the villagers told Him of their demon shaped problem, He sat at the foot hill, praying and meditating. The demon, angry that anybody would want to pray against its endearing form and charm, pushed a boulder down to smash him. But the boulder magically softened like a marshmallow and just became deformed when it hit Him. The angry demon walked down and kicked the boulder, only to have a foot shaped dent form on the boulder. The demon realized Guru Nanak's greatness, apologized for being a big meanie, and turned into the friendly-next-door-demon who helps fold laundry and fetch water. 
And this very Gurudhwara houses this magical boulder.
Now I am telling this story in great detail because it appeals to my sense of mystic. And also because I find it very funny to imagine a demon kick into a boulder and get its leg stuck in there. I, in fact, have a whole cartoon running in my head now.
So with a goofy grin on my face, I turn to leave when the volunteers stop us and ask us to have lunch. The grin growing bigger, we proceed to the lunch hall. We are served with a very simple menu, and very ordinary dishes- yet they all taste marvelous  We wonder at how the meal is so simple, yet mind blowing. My sense of mystic tingles once again. How much food can make a person happy, the husband and I give a contended sigh.
After the lunch and some dessert and tea, and with a more happier mindset, we move to the Sangam. Its the point where the Zanskar river and the Indus river merge, and flow on as the greater Indus. And the whole route leading up to the point is beautiful. Brown and sandy mountains, capped with white snow; green patches of land kneeling near their feet and lapping up water from their sparkling, tiny streams flowing around them- you know, the whole works - again a sight that no camera can truly capture. 
We finally reach the Sangam. We are delighted to spot the clear demarcation between the rivers till the point they merge. We decide to walk along the bank of the deceptively calm  and peaceful river. How some monkey like antics led to my pants getting ripped at the knee, I will not elaborate. Inner poise, apparently, is not one of my strong points. But it is, over all, an inner peace evoking evening. 
We reach back home and decide to while the evening away in the market. We discover a quaint little roof top restaurant, which boasts of an 'interesting' view of Leh. And it is. As we sit there, sipping our mint-lemon tea and eating the indescribable paneer pakodas, that the husband and I realize how unconventionally idyllic this place is. And how, given the chance, we can lead a simple yet fulfilling life if we stay here. So we spend the rest of the evening making plans to open a south Indian restaurant here and settle down; far, far away from our 9 to 5 jobs in the concrete jungles.

Day 4: Of Bombs, Bandhs and Bakeries

So what simply must happen when a day goes unbelievably smooth? Murphy must pay a visit, of course. The magical day we had happens to coincide with The Dalai Lama's birthday. And somebody just has to celebrate by planting a bomb in Bodhgaya in Delhi. 
The bomb blast causes outrage among the very peaceful looking Ladakhis. And they declare a bandh. Late that night, the villagers have a..umm..heart to heart with the drivers, making it clear that if we don't cross the place by 5 am, they will be possessed by a tyre slashing- rock throwing fit. The drivers get scared, alert the Trip Managers, and after much deliberation, it is decided we leave at 4 in the morning.
Sighs. I spend the last hours bidding good bye to the lovely stream, our tent, the trees, the attached tent loo - whatever I can find. 
At 4 am, we all take off like refugees- but it turns out to be not as dramatic as I imagined it would be. Reason 1: the sun is up and shining bright at that unearthly hour. Reason 2: The the-snow-leopard-inside-us-has-been-awoken villagers are all fast asleep. And continue to be for the rest of the day. I bet they had a really nice laugh before going to sleep about scaring the drivers out of their wits.
So after an uneventful ride back, we reach the guest house by 9 and settle in our rooms. Where we eat, sleep and watch tv. The uncanny resemblance to our Bangalore weekends leave us sighing and mumbling to each other till it becomes 5 pm. Aah the official closing time for the Bandh. He he..Bandh's closing time..get it? He he..anyways, we both pounce at the opportunity to go to the local market. While everybody shops for shawls and jewelry, we do what we do best- prowl for food.
We admire how the Ladakhis have opened their arms to the foreign population. You name it, they have a local version of it- The Pizza Hut, Punjabi Dhaba. And they have a huge number of German Bakeries stocked with peanut cookies, almond triangles, the yummiest apple pies,  mascarpone cakes - you name it. And the paneer- the melt-in-your-mouth fluffy, poetry inducing paneer- words can't describe them.
Getting back on subject, we get a few souvenirs from the Tibetan Refugee Market, meet a Tamil speaking Ladakhi shopkeeper, feel a very tiny bit satisfied we've at least stepped out of the guest house that day, and catch a taxi back.
The guest house weirdly feels like home now - and we settle with the Carrom board. Only this time, the Lolly lickers have joined and hey, they're kind of fun, after all.

Day 3: Of Himalayas, Humility and Hammocks

We start early today - our day promising some awesome things in tow. The first in line is the Khardung La Pass, which is the highest motor-able peak in the world. The whole wide world, y'all! At *just* 5600 m above sea level (the Everest is around 8800 for your reference), it is expected to be freezing cold and extremely windy. And it is. The flimsy sweaters we have on moan as we brave the winds to jump around like monkeys and take snaps of the snow capped peaks surrounding us. Fine. I jump around like a monkey while everybody else maintains inner poise and sips indescribably soothing masala tea.

Aah the peaks. All those poems and books written about how magnificently the Mighty Himalayas tower over you and make you feel humble and awed - they finally make sense. You realize nothing mankind makes can ever compare to this sight. Nature's splendor, the unparalleled elegance and the raw beauty hit you with great force. Time seems to stand still. And you are left speechless. Of course, that may also be because my lips are frozen shut together but I choose to go with the more poetic reason, thank you very much.

With that life changing experience, and with great envy for the people who chose to Bike around Ladakh (we are definitely revisiting this place for a biking road trip, The Husband and I tell each other), we move on down to the other side of the peak. There are no roads of course. One starts feeling very sorry thinking of all the things they've ever put inside a blender. I'm pretty sure all my internal organs have exchanged places. Lunch comes to us in a very surprising form- a sudden camp set up in a lush green valley in the middle of a very brown, sandy desert between the peaks. This beats any restaurant I've ever been to, I tell myself.
We then drive to a stream- surrounded by sparkling, white sand dunes. With charming little bamboo bridges to cross the stream. We go on double humped camel rides*, where a little girl introduces us to the family of camels as we ride along, finally declaring she has decided to marry a camel. True story.

We then move on to the Nubra Valley- known for being picturesque with its variety of flowers and streams during the right season. We are to stay overnight in a camp. And what a camp it is. The trees, the mountains, the tiny stream running along the middle, the tents standing between them - welcoming us into their carpeted interior (with an attached loo - so we don't spoil nature with Her calls, I suppose). And zero cell phone signal. We feel overwhelmed for the second time that day.

As we sit on the hammock outside our tent, right next to the stream, we feel blissfully calm and relaxed. The real world has melted away from our minds. We hold hands and smile into the distance, partly because of our surroundings, partly because we are thinking about how we pretended, just a few minutes before, that the orb like lamps outside the tents were crystal balls and that we could see the future.

*No camels were harmed from overload during the making of these logs. Really. We checked as soon as we got down.

Day 2: Of Leh, Lamas and Losers

One thing I forget to mention from yesterday is that its sunny here. As in you-will-get-burnt-crisp-if-you-step-out sunny. The cool winds that accompany the sunshine is of little use inside the rooms at night, especially with the lack of fans. You tend to start comparing it to low voltage ridden Chennai rooms.
After a night of 'Oh God, Why?' (Nights here are from 8:30pm to 4:30am) , we get ready to look around Leh. 
We first visit a 15th century monastery, which has a huge statue of Buddha, and shrines of multiple Gods. I have always thought of Buddhism as a simplistic religion, sans rituals and all. So seeing Gods of Love, Anger and Peace and observing different rituals pertaining to them seem very funny. Of course, my knowledge of Buddhism stems from my 8th standard history textbook, so who am I to say anything.
We come out thinking cool place, not sensing the impending whirlwind of monasteries.
There's nothing much to write home about today. There are more monasteries, more stupas, and palaces- not the Disney kinds, of course. They're all built from sand and stones and I could picture in my head how Fred Flintstones must have helped built it with his dino crane. The places themselves are kind of repetitive, but the view of the mountains and the surrounding houses from each is unique and beautiful.
The driver tells us about the whole Lama system. Sounds very much like Harry Potter - the chosen one and all that. This,naturally prompts The Husband to continuously sing 'The Llama Song' (Please do YouTube it if you haven't listened to it already), sending me into a fit of giggles.
We return to our temporary home in the early evening and soon get bored. When we discover a Carrom Board. And so it begins. The name calling (Fraud!), the accusations (Fluke!), the taunting and the singing (We are the championsss, you are the losersss). Brings back memories of the old work place. 
After a couple of hours of calling each other loser, we retire to bed with a smile on our faces, looking forward to lesser monasteries the next day. But this time, with more cold air blowing through the room - thanks to the wide open windows.

Day 1: Of Wonder, Valleys and Vertin*

The rest of the night goes without event, and we board the plane to Leh. Our worries of not being able to climb up mountains, and of rolling downwards to Chennai again are slightly put to ease by the demographic around us.

As Leh nears, we oooh and aaah at the vast and sandy mountains, peppered with greenery and tiny lakes here and there. The vast stretches of sandy, rocky mountains with little, beautiful green valleys are breathtaking. Its a sight one can never really imagine, or think even exists. The Leh airport is a quaint little place, with large army planes looming around. We are greeted by our trip mates- a family of three, who seem quite nice and normal. Plus one of them had a Wodehouse in their hand. I tell The Husband that I'm already liking these people.
Now here is where I stop to tell you - we were not particularly thrilled about going on a group tour. Too much socializing required, we told each other. 
But now, after coming to our beautiful guest house, we realize that we have immense entertainment all around us. 
As is our ritual, we christen everybody with what we think they ought to be named.
And so, Longbottom tells everybody who listens they're anniversary is coming up. Female WeAreOne nods while holding on to t WeAreOne, as if scared he'll get lost within the mountains. The Lolly Lickers Club discusses how awesome the trip is going to be. And us? We're those anti social people from *gasp* Chennai who keep saying something in Tamil and giggling. Aah the joy of no one else knowing your tongue.
We are warned to stay indoors and rest, till our bodies get accustomed to the thin air and the high altitude. You may get dizzy, they say. And puke. So that very evening, while the rest of us have heroically managed to stay alive, Longbottom continuously tells everyone how she is unable to talk. Sense the irony.  The Lolly Lickers are actually victims to the valleys. And the WeAreOnes are still stuck to one another, maybe trying collective breathing.
We go for a walk, realize since we're already filled with air, the thin air does not affect us. Ha! Take that you size zero flaunters!
The hill peaks around us, the tiny town, the birds, the trees, the clear, starry skies (and for real this time, not just in my head) - what a contrast to droll airport. Makes it totally worth the ordeals we faced the previous day.

*Vertin is a tablet one takes for dizziness

Day 0: Of Men, Morons and Machines

Lesson learnt- Never underestimate the Bangalore Traffic. It has a life and purpose of its own- mostly to screw up your life and purpose.
We arrive 5 minutes after the checkin close, and plead with an airline executive, who I guess had the same purpose as our friend, the Traffic.
They finally give in, and send us running to the flight, when we realize many more people are rushing after us. You really are a Bee with an Itch, Madam Airline Executive. 
After two hours of snoozing in the plane, we finally reach a sultry Delhi at midnight, happy the worst of the trip is already behind us.
We park ourselves in the under-furnished waiting room, when the husband decides to get himself stuck outside the security pass, without a copy of the ticket. Nature's calls can be quite demanding, after all.
While debating about what I do with my luggage, my phone decides to take a vacation by itself, and freezes on me.
After rummaging around for an old, barely working phone and deciding to abandon my luggage for like a nanosecond  so I can be The husband's Knight, I get into an elevator. I press the floor number, stand facing the door, do the boogie woogie - you know, standard things you do in an elevator, when the door opens. And I see a wall. And get extremely confused - 2 am can be a difficult time for all of us. I close the elevator, press for another floor, and behold - the elevator doesn't work.
Maybe there is an All Machines Meet going on somewhere and they've all decided to abandon me. I don't know. So I stand there, pressing random buttons, looking for an emergency phone, and staring into the security camera. Who knows, maybe somebody was watching. Apparently not - or maybe the camera was in the meet too, jeering, rubbing its hands together and giving a high pitched, evil laugh.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you realize you are stranded alone on an island- not knowing if you will survive or not. They are wrong. It happens when you get stuck in an elevator at 2am in an airport - with no cell phone signal. I am not exaggerating. Even Tom Hanks had a football to talk to!
I keep pressing the alarm button, and after an eternity (which essentially was 10 whole minutes), the elevator starts moving. Guess the Machines have had their fun. I can feel bright light again, the birds start chirping, there's triumphant music running in the background. I wonder who will play me in the movie they make based on my story. I see the Husband waiting outside security. I run towards him (ok fine, I walked very slightly faster), get him past security, and smile at him, my new born love for life pouring out with it- when he gruffly asks 'What took you so long?

Cab Ride Conversations with The H

Me *Post two traumatic head injuries*: My head hurts
The H: Awww
Me: Like two areas of concentrated pain on my forehead
The H: Its because you banged your head very hard..twice
Me: Or maybe it's because I am turning into HellBoy. Woaaahh. Maybe I am going to turn red. And you'll probably have to break off my horns. You will still stay married to me, won't you?
The H: *facepalm*
----------
*Two hours after my startling HellBoy revelation....revelation now having turned into bitter disappointment of still staying the same*
Me: Everything hurts. My head. My neck. My back. My eyes. My nose. My legs.
The H: Ouch. That's a lot of body parts.
Me: I know, right! You're probably gonna need a lot of spare parts to fix me.
The H: Eh?
Me: And you have to do it really quick. I mean, my one year warranty is almost gonna get over...July 15th isn't very far off. You better hurry.
The H: Kadavule!(Oh God!)
-----------
*The following is not for the Tamil-Challenged*
The H: Kandadha saapdaadha.
Me: Kandadha dhane da saapda mudiyum. Kaanaadhadha epdi da saapda mudiyum.
The H: Oh Gawd! Mudiliyae enala!
Me: Cha...unaala la illa. Kalyanathuku munadi lendhe enaku orae hair fall.
The H: Hang up!
----------
Me: The hilllsss are aliveee...with the sound of musiccccc. aaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaa.
The H: *hangs up*
----------
Me: Did you know that there's a house named "Anu's" near ours?
The H *sounding very disinterested*: Oh really?
Me: Every time my cab passes through it, I read it without the apostrophe and go wtf.
The H: Wait..what?! 

What (almost) 11 months of marriage has taught me

Limbo

You know how in the movie Inception, he's called Dom and she's called Mal?
Is it because when they fell DOMMAL into limbo?

What Bangalore has done to me

[11:55:54 AM] Naatama:
moongil thottam... mooligai vaasam... neranja mounamm... pournami iravu..panii vizhum kaadu... othai adi paadha..un kooda podi nada..
[11:57:52 AM] Me:
          mullangi saaptom
          manangati vaasam
          kaai romba moasam
          nethi iravu
          pani vittaen roti
          thurivi vittaen adha
          seri dhan podi

Random Memory - 3 (or is it 4? oh well!)

Me (walking into classroom): Hi guys
Na (who was mid conversation with Ni): Hi..wait..(turning back to Ni) so where is it again?
Ni: You know butt doctor near my place right?
Na: Ya
Me(thinking): Butt doctor?
Ni: Ya..so you take the right before butt doctor's clinic
Me(thinking): Woah...so it is a butt doctor! What on earth does he do?!
Na: ok...butt doctor's right. Got it.
Me: Excuse me, but I just have to ask. What does butt doctor do?
Ni: He has a clinic
Me: Ya..but what does he do?
Na: What do you mean? He's a doctor!

So I let it go at that. I did not think digging into details about a butt doctor was going to help.
And then I spent an agonizing month not knowing who a butt doctor is.
Until one fine day, I went to Ni's place.
And saw the clinic next to her house.

The board said 'Bhatt Clinic'

Aisalakadi

I put betel leaf stylely
I punch hard on nose
See came blood
This amar's heart pure

Aisalakadi rythm only madam/sir
Amar is solid when it comes to song madam/sir

Why?
Because I can now :D :D
Hallelujah! :D