For the looking glass

Warning: Heavy girlie content ahead!
It is unanimously agreed that I am a fashion dyslexic...actually plain lazy wud b better suited but it just doesnt have the same elan as 'fashion dyslexic' :P
So what happens when i visit a 'bridal' parlor with a bunch of the other members of the 'fairer sex' of the BG street household? Something along the lines of a romcom movie.....I guess the parlor is the only place that has actually made me feel guilty for my lack of expertise on facials,manicures and pedicures.
Enter the bride..followed by lots of noise about who needs to do what before the wedding...one budding beauty wants the 'pearl facial', while that aunt who's always asked u y u havent dun a chin reduction(I have this beautiful dokku aka elongated chin...something I share with the likes of Lara Dutta) wants a 'chocolate pedicure'....then thrs the 'hair spa' guaranteed to make ur hair luk like u'v jus walkd off a shampoo ad...oh! there r just so many terms..i cant even remember all if it now!
Amidst all this chaos is ME...going 'huh?' n 'y?!'...so our fave aunt decides to help out the poor bewildered creature(Fave Aunt:"Whatever are you going to do wen its ur wedding?! I am never going to leave ur side!!" Me:Aghast!)n looks at me, top to bottom n says 'Pls give her a facial n a pedicure' to the 'beauty specialist' (BS for short) nearby and walks off.
Now I'm stuck...all alone..more confused than ever...protesting to the air where my aunt was..shouting 'but i have allergiesss!'
BS: 'Dont worry madam...we'l make sure nothing happens to u'
Me(wishing I was fast asleep at home..i was sleep deprived then u kno!):Umm....ok
BS: 'What kind of facial do u want maam?'
Me:Ummm....wat do u have?
BS: !$%*@!&#)*!@&#_!#*(
Me: How abt i just do the pedicure?
BS:Sure maam...how abt @#%^@(!&^@!*)@(*)!@?
Me: Do u have a regular one?
BS: U mean..@)!@(!)?
Me: yes, tat one thanx!

Then, feeling like a bumbling idiot, I had a pedicure...the point for which I still dont get....cant ppl wash their feet with dettol n soap in their own homes? Is it the nail polish that poses a problem then? Sheesh!

So once that got over, I waited for the others(who tuk all afternoon AND evening), and at the end of teh day, as per the 'Beauty Specialists', were ravishing n either lookin '10 yrs younger' or magically missing spots on the forehead(to me..they all looked the same..just cleaner!)
All in all, I felt like Alice in Wonderland..