I.C.TV

Not so long ago, my family on a falling sick spree. Not just catch a cold, sniff with fever sick...rush to ER, get admitted in the ICU sick.The real works.
While that sounds morose, and did feel so at that point of time, I actually did find some parts of it quite funny. How?
Setting: Night 11pm, one exhausted me has been asked to make myself comfortable in the waiting room upstairs...the 'waiting room' is a bunch of chairs with towels on them..apparently 'reservation' by people who wanted to have decent sleep.
Characters: One TV(the main character of this wonderful tale), and the hugeee(i mean in number too :P) family, the female clan of which was led by The Sornaka..the men folk led by our own chennai version of lungi clad Jake Sully
Now when this intriguing story starts, and I walk into the waiting room, there are like random 4-5 people sitting and staring at our hero, the Television while guarding their..umm..towels. And what do you think is running on TV? A Captain movie..where our dear captain is crying for his about-to-demise mother. Thats when the pissed off, tired, new-to-the-rules-of-the-room me walked upto the TV and switched it off, amidst mild murmuring. Few minutes later, something resembling a marriage party arrives...our Jake Sully among shouting
'Innnnaaaaa....adhukula off pantaaaa' at the sornaka (yess yesss....thats when i learnt the dynamics of the clan...observant aint it? :P)
To which, our sornaka replies 'Andha papa dhan off pannichu....' n points to...lo n behold...me!(ya....she called me a papa...hilarious....now move on!)
After which, some 15 odd people turn and stare at me.....thats when the raw boldness of what I had done struck me...so I did what any courageous heroine would do...turned and stared pointedly at the girl beside me while everybody stared at me :D
Well that was our intro scene...and thanks to them, my 2 day stay in the hospital was a hoot.
Their day starts with half the women folk going home to clean up the kids and stock up on large andas of biryani and flasks of kaapi n tea...while the men folk go around grunting and snorting at being woken up early by the hospital cleaning staff. The elected women folk who do stay behind start with 'Vanakam Chennai'....and move on to any random movie playing in any random channel...and how lucky I was! My cheerful mornin started off with Sharath Kumar crying for some about-to-demise family! Awesome right?
Then the women folk come and declare mealtime..and all of them would eat and makes joke about each other and beat each other up...some touching family moments! Awwwwww Yaavarum Nallam moments!
Then the Sully gang go down for their dum session..while sornaka declares 'Eiii...andha serial la andha amma ku inaachunu thenjudhaaa?' and her daughter in laws scramble to turn the channel on.
Then one of the macho men comes up and says 'Our ailing member in the ICU(!) is missing..I think they've taken him for some tests' or something of that sorts and everybody goes ooohhh and gets back to the television
Needless to say, this cycle continued...the whole fantabulous day...right till deviyani walked out of her house with ominous music in the background..and even after that, till Ramya Krishna walked out of her house wit ominous music in the background.
Oh ya..and this would be broken by occasional 'Nee yaen ma inga keera?' from the sympathetic female clan while the male clan curiously looks on.
And after being asked that question countless times, it suddenly hit me...I knew why they were there....the cable connection in their home was screwed up!

Whats new this new year?

You kno how people get these transparent plastics covers for their cell phns?
I've got them for my teeth :D

List of Things To Do Today

1. Plan to go late to the office, but change mind coz of vague movie plans.
Check

2. Somehow reach office much earlier than you usually do coz then it wudnt b ironic considering point 1.
Check

3. Gather a herd to watch a movie in a mall in the middle of nowhere.
Check

4. Stand stranded outside the mall coz all the tickets to all the movies playin in the theatre have sold out.
Check

5. Meet cousin you said you'd watch the movie with and give the uh-oh-i'v-been-caught-look like the dumbo i am.
Check

6. Try to shift+del 1-5 from my mind....
Am still working on it...

Sighs!

PS: After a foodcourt session just now, I realized my week of wat-cud-have-been started in mokka Mocha, the coffee shop that refused to serve coffee( and even more shocking..hot chocolates :O)

Shawshank Redemption

A long time ago...never mind how long..(actually it was ejjatly a year ago...the beginning is to make it seem like the beginning of a novel called 'Moby Dick' I read when I was in 6th std n somehow remember!)...i wrote this and this.
Aaaahh! So worried was I that I would miss my beloved gateway (May It Rest In Peace...Amen) that I selflessly didnt think much about the annoying things that came with the braces.
Like not being able to eat your murruku like the Vicco Toothpaste Ad ppl do...or for that matter, like your 70 year old grandma does...
Like not being able to chew gum...
Like not being able to take a full bite out of the giant veg rolls you get in your foodcourt...
Like not being able to eat eclairs without looking like a monkey with a bug in its mouth later...man the stuff sticks to metal!
Like not being able to whistle for too long without war wounds later...
Oh..the list is hugeee...trust me!
And while I do find whistling with no gap between the front teeth sorta difficult to accustom to....its Redemption baby! Finally! Though I didnt quite grasp the enormity of the situation when the dentist actually removed the metal monsters, I am now unable to stop grinning coz somebody offered me chewing gum....and imagine my pleasant surprise when i found i could actually chew it hassle free! :D
So after a million messages(thanku sowmya for giving me a title :D), facebook status changes, and a grin that still hasnt subsided....i am writing this blog to say..
I'm freeeeeeeeeee!
Now if you'l excuse me, I need to spit out the redemption...(for bulb heads...it means the chewing gum)
PS: I have dedicated a sweatshirt to the memory of my gateway...here it is

En Daddy!(Vaaranam Aayriam style)

This one is for most of you who wonder i am the way i am...mokkai wise of course. Unlike what most of you think, its not because of something thats mixed with my food everyday. My guess is its alll probably in my genes...the biological ones...not the stonewashed ragged looking ones...
Now why have I suddenly confessed to that?
Lets rewind back to today afternoon...lazy holiday...i sit in the sofa...trying to make my nose stop whistling..a talent it has acquired ever since i caught the darned cold...when my dad, who's watching some cooking show about baking a cake comes out.
Then with a genuinely confounded, serious expression says:
'Indha cooking show la...oru lady..inoor lady-a paathu 12 muttai-s poadunga nu solra ma...ennaku puriyala...andha lady aala epdi avalo mutta poada mudiyum...ava enna koazhiya?'
(For the tamil challenged...get the translation in the thrd or grp chat! Lets face it...you guys are the only ones who read my blog :D)
And without stopping at that, with the same serious confounded expression..he continues 'Aparam vera andha lady solra...next cake bake aaydum nu...iva dhane ma lady-a mutta poada sonna...ava dhane bake?'
then strolls bak in with no change in expression at all..despite me giggling my head off!
I rest my case!

The tragic story of the nallennai

For those of you who dunno tamil, nallennai is a type of oil. Now for those of u whod unno tamil, you wont understand this blog so shoo :P
Ever wondered how it got its name? I thot about it and this is what i think history luks like here:
Once upon a time, nallennai was just called ennai...thr was tis one particular ennai bottle that was a don in a ennai area (enna area? ennai area..yaess yaess)
So on its deathbed, this ennai's grandson asked 'Thatha...neenga nallennaiya...kettennaiya?'
To which the grandpa ennai replied 'Theriliyaee paaaa' and evaporated.
Then lotsa ennais gathered around feeling sad abt the ennai passing away and the grandson realizd 'Mebbe my thatha was nallennai'
From that day forth, he went around saying 'naanga elaam nallennai'
And who do you think survived the test of the fittest? Nallennais :D

Ek gaao mein ek kisaan raghu thatha.....

Alert: Those are in fluent in our Rashtra Baasha(the language Hindi...not a remake of the rajni movie) may need lotsa cotton to wipe off all the blood that may flow from the ears.
So its just another monotonous day at work...and there just isnt any mood to work.So what would any self respecting software professional do? If you've answered 'Find a way to make yourself work'...beeeep....you have officially been disqualified from being my friend...please dont let the door hit you on the way out :P
Now those who can stay must have answered like this: Find a way to pass away the time...
Thats how we decided(we = the 'GanG' i'm apparently in :P) to learn a language...now again: among you non-disqualified ppl..if somebody thot language meant a programming language...the disqualified ppl are waiting for you.
Here are the fruits of the hours and hours of combined effort to..ahem...learn Hindi...

jaa be makhan - podaaaaaa venna
bandh!! - moooodu
maran graaki! - saavugraaki!
chehra dhekho! - moonjjjaaa paaru
makhan dhoodh - buttermilk
kamra daalke soch - room poatu yoasi
fooo hua bacha - blown up baby

"swine chup karo hindi mein baath nehi karsakthe tho oopar se rope se thongo hain!!"

A: "yeh B ko hindi mein chup ki alawa kuch nahi aathi hain"
B:"alawa na
?"
C: "carrot se banaate hain naa....woh sweet"

"kabhi tum tere naam mara tha?" (When did you change your name?)

"woh waali hoo....bucket nahi ho"

A:"is beech mein bakri kahaan se ayi?"
B:"besant nagar beech?"

There were lots and lots more...but alas! I am afraid of causing mass anemia...you can contact me personally if you need any more pearls