Press Release about Product Release

So the biggest Product Release I have ever worked on is going to happen in three months - I am going to push out *what is hopefully* a human being. (Though I wouldn't mind an alien...sometimes I think an alien is more probable. Unless you know, I release a tiny Kung Fu Panda. Now that I think of it, the rate at which it's kicking but then, sleeping through all ultrasounds, I think Po is the more probable outcome)

And yes, I am completely aware that two posts ago, I gave tips on avoiding this subject. And no, I did not give in just because random aunties asked me to. Or because my GoT responses did not work. I assure you, they still do. You can still use them all you want. 

We just decided it was time to produce a minion. And you know, train it to do minion-y stuff for us. So be nice to us, people. Else things like 'Nibbles, poop on her hand' and  'Tiny darling, why don't you puke on his nice bald spot?' will be very common place in your life.

Yes, Nibbles is the name of the minion right now - after the diaper toting grey mouse in Tom and Jerry that is constantly hungry. No, I am not eating to my heart's content and blaming it on the minion. Well, maybe a little bit. But you can't prove it! Ha!

What are we going to name the little one? We did think of little Copernicus or little
Mufasa or a little Schrodinger (and then definitely get a cat and call it Schrodinger's cat. Then teach Nibbles about the experiment, confusing the kid for life). But a friend pointed out !xobele is a rather nice name. I agree. Little !xobele it is. Don't anybody dare try and steal the name - somebody will-a get hurt real bad.

As with any product release, I have 'pressing' issues - issues that make me visit the loo a million times a day. Last week, I developed a huge heat boil on my eye. I looked exactly like Quasimodo- only instead of the hump on the back, I had a bump up the front. Radiant pregnancy glow, my ass. :D 

Ya..so to sum up, don't be surprised if you see me rolling along some sloped Bangalore road in the next few months - the rate at which I am going, we will probably need to sell our car and buy a tow truck. Just step aside, let me roll by, wave a hi maybe, but don't try to stop me. Nature did not provide me with brakes. Chances are, I will roll over you. 

Don't say I did not warn you.

The Lorax

You know it's time to get your eyebrows done when you look into the mirror and see:

GoT it, I say!

There is no denying it - as much as it pains me to say this - I am 27 years old.
So are most of my friends.
A recent survey among them has revealed that most need to tackle near and dear ones, random aunties and uncles, or younger cousins even, asking them about
a. their pending marriage
or
b. their pending spawning

So to make things interesting the next time this subject is broached, I have decided to propagate the art-of-GoT.
Here are a few samples:

"Your life will be so empty if you don't have kids right away"
"You know nuthin', aunty-o"

"What do you mean it's too soon to get married? You are a girl - no boy wants to marry an old cow!"
"WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?"

"Why do you think all your friends are married?"
"Valar Morghulis"

"You are next in line, eh? Eh? Eh?"
"Dracarys!"

"Why won't you get married?"
"Winter is coming"

"Your biological clock is ticking. Make babies before it's too late."
"WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS?"

"I just told your mother about an alliance - your second cousin's maternal aunt's grandmother's sister's daughter-in-law's nephew. I am going to be responsible for you finally getting married, see."
"A Lannister always pays his debts"

"Give us one good reason you won't marry this boy who is oh-so-wonderful on paper."
"Hodor"

Extra points for assuming the tone and expression of the character.
What say?

PS: GoT is Game of Thrones. If you do not know that is, you must be that frozen early man they thawed back to life.
PS Reloaded: Hodor

The Fog

Pathways were no more clear, the destination blurry.
Faces moved past, unrecognizable.
People belonged to the world, yet not my world.
Closest friends, dissolved.
But voices. Voices rang clearer.
Whispers deafening.
And in that dense fog, I found an intense sense of clarity.

I found my contact lens.

PS:
I recently had to go the 8 kms between my house and the eye doctor to get my eye checked up. Broken glasses. Forbidden contact lens. Invoked a lot of emotions, I must say. :D

Manchurian...Baby Corn Manchurian

I made baby corn manchurian yesterday.
Alas, that is the last mention of the dish on this blog post. The post is about the inspiration that struck while I was making it, when I opened the wrong container and found some aval (flattened rice/poha stuff) inside.
Me: I think I am gonna play matchmaker today.
The H: Hmm?
Me (walking to the microwave oven): Aval, meet Avan (Oven)....Oven, meet Aval. *turning to The H* See?
The H: You are simply brilliant!

It's awesome when your sudden inspirations are appreciated, isn't it? Ignoring the sarcastic undertone, of course. :D

Tiny Treasures

I am a good friend. Always have been. One of my better qualities.
How else can you explain these little notes...each one a treasure - a message to touch, inspire and evolve - that I left all over my friend's room while she was at work?

You just know..

You know you are destined to make up puns and PJs when:
You are dreaming, and somebody says something in the dream that triggers a pun.
Your dream pauses for a minute.
Your subconscious tells the pun and your subconscious giggles at itself.
The dream then resumes.

#truestory